Burdened by anxiety, Ron Yap was once on a downward spiral that seemed impossible to overcome. Now a mental health advocate, the 2022 Koh Boon Hwee Scholar shares his story to help others who may be facing similar issues

by Foo Jie Ying

Find yourself boiling over with stress or anxiety?

Don’t bottle it in and internalise it, says Ron Yap, 25, a graduating communication student and mental health advocate.

“In Singapore, the fast pace of life can sometimes make people feel like anxiety is the default state of mind. But if left unchecked, such mental health symptoms could spiral into a mental health condition,” he says, pointing to a recent national study that found that one in three youth in Singapore has reported internalising mental health symptoms such as sadness, anxiety and loneliness.

Ron would know. He spent half a decade struggling with symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) thinking it was “normal”, before getting diagnosed three years ago.

OCD is a condition that features a pattern of unwanted thoughts and fears. The sufferer tries to manage this anxiety with compulsive rituals that offer temporary relief.

For Ron, his anxiety revolved around his poor social skills and his fear of doing badly in school. “I kept replaying social situations in my head, wondering whether I said or did the right thing or if I made any mistakes. It was quite paralysing,” he recounts.

Being an only child in a single-parent family, having lost his father to leukaemia at three, worsened the anxiety, he adds.

At the peak of his condition, he could visit the bathroom close to 20 times a night, even when he knew his bladder was empty. It was a balm that soothed his anxiety, even though it severely disrupted his sleep.

He did not seek help initially because he thought his struggles were “nothing”. “I thought everyone was anxious in their own way and had their own troubles,” he says.

It was only when he stumbled upon an Instagram post about OCD symptoms that he sought help. A visit to the psychiatrist led to his diagnosis, and he started medication and therapy to manage his condition.

Friends and mentors can make a difference

Ron’s classmate, Charlene Ho, says she was happy and relieved that he trusted her enough to share his diagnosis. “To me, he’s the same person, just that now I know another detail about his life.”

Learning about his diagnosis has taught her to treat people with mental health conditions with more empathy and sensitivity, she adds.

Having a caring and nurturing mentor also helped, says Ron of senior lecturer Wong Pei Wen at his school. “Our conversations about mental health helped me to cope during the more hectic times in university,” he says.

Against a backdrop of rising mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder, depression, alcohol abuse and obsessive-compulsive disorder, having such a support system in schools is crucial, points out Prof Kwok Kian Woon, NTU’s Associate Vice President (Wellbeing).

Says Mr Ethan Pang, Director of the University Wellbeing Office: “Community support is key to our wellbeing. We are social beings and our first port of call for help is often someone within our immediate circle of trusted friends or loved ones, as Ron has done. Everyone has a part to play. For this reason, we continue our preventive efforts to equip our OneNTU community with mental wellbeing literacy and support skills and to build up our Peer Helping Programme.”

He adds: “Professional and confidential support is also available and we encourage students to seek help early at the University Counselling Centre, which is conveniently located above our campus medical centre. Where needed, students can be referred to in-house psychiatrists at the medical centre.”

In NTU’s supportive environment, Ron indeed found his footing and started thriving academically, making it on the Dean’s List and winning the Koh Boon Hwee Scholars Award, which recognises exceptional achievements, leadership and potential in graduating students.

While his anxiety has lessened after two years of therapy, he is still grappling with OCD. There are still moments when he would find himself overanalysing how he did in social situations, but he now recognises that there are more important things to focus on.

He still makes repeated trips to the bathroom at night, washes his face frequently, and checks his alarm repeatedly. He has been considering the idea of going for exposure and response prevention, a form of behavioural therapy that involves repeated exposure to fearful thoughts without giving in to the short-term relief delivered by compulsions.

Ron concedes that he does lament the lack of a more “normal” life. “I am proud of myself. I went through those things and came out on top. But when people ask me whether this ordeal has made me stronger, I do wish I didn’t have to go through all this.”

“I decided to share my own story because it’s the one I’m most familiar with, and one that I feel is quite relatable among those who feel that their struggles with anxiety are not worth seeking help for,” says Ron.

“I hope that my story of seeking help inspires others to do the same. There is really no need to suffer in silence.”

This story was published in the Jun-Aug 2022 issue of HEY!. To read it and other stories from this issue in print, click here.